I found my wife ped out on the kitchen floor with an empty bottle of chocolate syrup lying beside her...?

She had gotten mad at me for dressing like Kid Rock and getting the kids dressed up like a miniature Metallica group and going around to the neighbors singing white trash Christmas carols, and when we came home from caroling I called out to her but she didn't answer, and that's when I found her. My question is, what is it that drives women to drown their troubles in chocolate? I mean, maybe she had a point that I was an embarrment to the neighborhood, and I guess she's right that she hasn't yet lived down the shame of having me dragged out of the church parking lot by the cops for getting into a fight with that horse, but I got my pride, man. I don't understand why whenever she's upset to me she takes a ride on the chocolate pony. For one thing, it's killing our budget. Hell, I can't lift my head at the tattoo parlor where I work for the shame of knowing that the guys know I can't buy no more, on account of my wife's Hershey-jerkin'. Why do women do this, and what the hell can I do about it? I already thought I might get some fun out of it by covering myself with chocolate and giving myself as a gift to her, but she just cussed me out and scd me with a er knife. :(